Category: lifestyle

Changing Seasons

art, lifestyle, parisian, visual story December 9, 2020

I compiled the pictures of the last few months, and felt uncertainty fill me…

What do I write? What do I say?

…That, I got to live my dream, but it doesn’t always fill me with joy?

That, I’m struggling to feel good about living day after day indoors, despite the privileges of doing so?

That, I’m tired of monotony, but not sick, and feeling very grateful for that? But that, despite the constant fatigue, I still dare to utter some truths;

Is that not the point of being alive?

And, despite that celebration, I’m still tired, and constantly losing inspiration.

Would you hate to know that there’s less laughter and planning, and more agitation with waiting for new dreams to come to fruition?

And, I still wake up to things that make me sad, despite how grateful I am to just be alive? And, that there’s so much pain in my reflections on the world I live in, wherein I constantly question, ‘what would make me less threatening?’

No matter what you put me in, I’ll always wear my Black skin, even in death

Sure, seasonal changes have never been easy, but putain, cette saison est trop difficile.

Everything I Baked in Lockdown

food, lifestyle, quarantine July 16, 2020

Before we get into this, I just want to make one thing really clear:

I didn’t become some baking Barbie because everyone else was doing it; I have a long (and well-documented) penchant for baking, and had the quintessential 6th-birthday party-at-a-bakery to prove it (just call my mother). To my super, not-green baking hands, lockdown was just an opportunity to manifest the hell out of my dreams about carbs; true story: one night, the vividness of my sex-esque dream about homemade fettuccini resulted in me purchasing a heavy duty, pasta maker before I could wipe the crust out of my eyes. So, if you ever questioned my standing in the food world, shame on you.

But, regardless, I’ll give you the recipes to make this bread.

My flirtation with making homemade pizza began with buying the pre-made dough at Trader Joe’s, which was extremely satisfying until I decided I wanted all of the credit for the pizza’s deliciousness, not just part of it (including the sauce, which I made with this recipe). Overall, finding yeast was the hardest part about making this, but once you sacrifice your first-born to the Saf gods, you’ll be good. I’ve been really satisfied with exclusively making Margherita’s, but I’m going to start getting really fancy and throwing on some spicy Italian sausage, peppers, and probably some mushrooms too. Whatever you fancy, I recommend starting with this dough recipe.

As for my precious sourdough…the first I’ve ever created (I’m so proud of her, even though I clearly forgot to give her the trendy slash); I highly recommend this with brie cheese, and for Italian sandwiches. If you take my foolish advice, report back with pictures.

My love of breakfast foods led me to make both of these, and along that journey, I found a new, deep respect for bagel makers (just check out this 7473-part recipe). They’re definitely worth the effort, but these southern-style biscuits  will require far less mastery.

Out of all my lockdown bakes, I’m probably proudest of this brioche (*pictured on the right with melted cheese), because it was the perfect pairing to the spicy, katsu chicken cutlets I made…and swiftly obliterated, before remembering that I wanted to write this piece.

…I won’t even lie, all of these recipes are probably going to have that effect on you too.

Pas Si Chic

fashion, lifestyle, survival guide June 10, 2020

I’m writing this as an escape.

There’s so much performative shenanigans littering the world that I have to do something that makes me feel sane.

Side note: I never imagined that at the ripe age of 24 writing into an algorithmic abyss would be the thing keeping me sane but, here we are. I mean, have you ever voluntarily taken up a hobby that requires you to eat your ego before throwing it up everywhere? Or, are you normal?

Like I said, I need an escape; if you know where we can find some frivolity for this pandemic please let me know. The speed at which white silence did a 180°, then evolved into the optical cacophony that was several white Senators kneeling in Kente cloth, is truly neck-breaking. And, during a pandemic.

We are still. living through. our first global pandemic. 

Does anyone else’s brain zone out and totally forget about that, only to come to in a wave of anxiety? I have to laugh …or bake…every weekend, to get through this. Mind you, before my instant active dry yeast arrived almost three weeks ago, I had already analyzed all hundred of the existential crises I had had; if anything, now I’m just getting more creative with my coping mechanisms. I’m quite literally doing what floats my boat. I mean, yeast goes to your ass…right?

 And every good bake or dinner requires a worthy dinner outfit. Yeah, I said it: dressing up to eat my dinner, or the things I bake myself, all alone, is the only thing keeping me sane right now. This girl loves her downtime, but I never intended to swap out glitzy dinner outfits for pseudo-groutfits (though, we never go full on grout over here) for this long. So, as a pick-me-up to the realization that I’ve been coordinating pseudo-groutfits with non-medical face masks for the past 4 months, I’ve been dressing up in for dinner.

Scoff if you’re boring, I’m gonna find a way to have fun.

Cue the Lookbook:

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset


Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

And, these are  some looks I don’t (yet) own that send me into daydreams (my credit card’s nightmare):

IMG_4069Jolié Maxi Dress, Hanifa


Heron Preston x Sami Miro Vintage SS2020


Silk Sundown Wrap Dress, Fe Noel 


White Lace Mini Dress, TLZ L’FEMME

…When I’m not daydreaming about the revolution, that is.

White Silence Is Violence

identity, know, lifestyle, society June 1, 2020

To any White friend I have, or have had:

In this deeply racist society, it’s simply not enough for you to “not be racist;”

It’s not enough for you to treat me with the respect I deserve;

It’s not enough for you to open your home to me, and your other Black friends;

It’s not enough for you to know what’s happening;

It’s not enough for you to be and to be ‘outraged;’

It’s not enough for you to know the history of racism in this country, or even, of every other country on the face of this Earth;

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

It’s not enough for you to read Angela Davis;

It’s not enough for you to know Malcolm X;

It’s not enough for you to walk in Black Live Matter protests;

It’s not enough for you to recognize your White Privilege;

It’s not enough for you to know how capitalism is inherently racist;

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

It’s not enough for you to repent for the sins of Whiteness: multiplying the number of Nat Turner’s, Emmett Till’s, and Henrietta Lack’s;

It’s not enough for you to be actively antiracist;

It’s not enough for you to hold your White counterparts accountable;

It’s not enough for you to unlearn your racism;

None of it is enough when you remain silent about it.

White supremacy doesn’t end by you doing your antiracist work in the shadows. White supremacy doesn’t end by you not making it inherently clear that you are antiracist. Again, and again, and again. Until you’re blue in the face. Anything less than making your antiracist action known to your white friends and white family is violence. Anything less than you normalizing talking about race with your white friends and white family is violence. Anything less than you continuously shouting from the rooftops how white people can unlearn their racism, and how white people can contribute to dismantling white supremacy is violence.

And your violence is no longer acceptable to me.

I’ve endured years of your silence. I’ve seen you consume every inch of Black culture except for the death that comes with it. Through the years, I’ve heard chorus upon chorus of your thoughts on the latest Black dance, win by your favorite majority-Black sports team, Twitter beef between your favorite Black celebrities, or clothing drop from your favorite streetwear brand that routinely coopts trends started by Black people. And throughout the years, I’ve heard your deafening silence when police killed Trayvon Martin, Clifford Glover, Claude Reese, Randy Evans, Yvonne Smallwood, Amadou Diallo, Oscar Grant, Eric Garner, Sean Bell, Jordan Davis, Jonathan Ferrell, Ezell Ford, Darius Pinex, Ramarley Graham, Yvette Smith, Darrien Hunt, Timothy Russell, Malissa Williams, Kendrick McDade, Akai Gurley, Rumain Brisbon, Aiyana Jones, John Crawford, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, Stephon Watts, Rekia Boyd, Trisha Miller, Dakota Bright, Corey Harris, Larry Jackson Jr., Tarika Wilson, John Crawford, Gary Hatcher, Manuel Loggins Jr., Nicholas Hayward, Kathryn Johnston, Samuel Dubose, Freddie Gray, The Charleston 9, Sandra Bland, Corey Jones, Alton Sterling, Roshad McIntosh, Ronald Madison, Joel Acevedo, Philando Castile, Patrick Dorismond, Jordan Baker, Timothy Stanbury, Terrence Crutcher, Keith Scott, Jordan Edwards, Stephon Clark, Bothem Sean, Atatiana Jefferson, Breonna Taylor,  Ahmaud Arbery, and George Floyd.


I’ve endured your silence all 60+ chances you’ve had to speak out. I’ve endured watching you take zero of those chances, and still resolving to calling yourself my ‘friend.’ “Maybe they’re waiting for the next one?” I used to wonder. But, now I know that your silence means that you don’t see the perpetual violence against Blackness as your problem.

And it’s laughable.

Have you not lived this life in community with so many people? The next time your friend’s family member is sick, will you not console them? Will you not congratulate the next family member of yours who gives birth? Will you not check in on your friend who attended a funeral? Or, console the next one who has their heart broken? …Oh, I’m mistaken? You’ll be there for them? Even though none of those things directly have anything to do with you?

So, then, why the fuck are you not avidly fighting to make Black Lives Matter?

It’s because you don’t believe that they do.


Bliss-less Ambivalence

know, lifestyle, podcast May 28, 2020

am·biv·a·lence (n) /amˈbivələnt/

the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.
Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

Before all of this, ambivalent wouldn’t have been the first word I’d use to describe my worldview; it suggests far more moodiness and indecisiveness than I’d willingly associate myself with. But, one season of podcasting and pandemic-ing later, and I’ve realized that I feel nothing but ambivalence towards our human experience. My wide scope of conversations clarified for me that life, in all its dynamism, is fully incapable of being wholly one thing, or wholly another. It is forever shifting. The difference is, now, my ambivalence has lost its bliss–and, in my mind, it’s no coincidence that it has gone right at the close of season 1.

Over 16 weeks, I’ve had the privilege to learn and share insights from visionaries, educators, creators, and entrepreneurs who have sparked in me a gutsiness that I’m just beginning to get comfortable with. They knowingly joined me in conversations they imagined would ruffle feathers, induce introspection, and hopefully, inspire fervent criticism of American society. 

In me doing more of that, my ambivalence might find its bliss again…but if it never does, the least I can do is thank you for listening, even when you hated what you heard.

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

Spotify Podcasts

Apple Podcasts

Google Podcasts