I compiled the pictures of the last few months, and felt uncertainty fill me…
What do I write? What do I say?
…That, I got to live my dream, but it doesn’t always fill me with joy?
That, I’m struggling to feel good about living day after day indoors, despite the privileges of doing so?
That, I’m tired of monotony, but not sick, and feeling very grateful for that? But that, despite the constant fatigue, I still dare to utter some truths;
Is that not the point of being alive?
And, despite that celebration, I’m still tired, and constantly losing inspiration.
Would you hate to know that there’s less laughter and planning, and more agitation with waiting for new dreams to come to fruition?
And, I still wake up to things that make me sad, despite how grateful I am to just be alive? And, that there’s so much pain in my reflections on the world I live in, wherein I constantly question, ‘what would make me less threatening?’
No matter what you put me in, I’ll always wear my Black skin, even in death.
Sure, seasonal changes have never been easy, but putain, cette saison est trop difficile.
am·biv·a·lence (n) /amˈbivələnt/
the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.
Before all of this, ambivalent wouldn’t have been the first word I’d use to describe my worldview; it suggests far more moodiness and indecisiveness than I’d willingly associate myself with. But, one season of podcasting and pandemic-ing later, and I’ve realized that I feel nothing but ambivalence towards our human experience. My wide scope of conversations clarified for me that life, in all its dynamism, is fully incapable of being wholly one thing, or wholly another. It is forever shifting. The difference is, now, my ambivalence has lost its bliss–and, in my mind, it’s no coincidence that it has gone right at the close of season 1.
Over 16 weeks, I’ve had the privilege to learn and share insights from visionaries, educators, creators, and entrepreneurs who have sparked in me a gutsiness that I’m just beginning to get comfortable with. They knowingly joined me in conversations they imagined would ruffle feathers, induce introspection, and hopefully, inspire fervent criticism of American society.
In me doing more of that, my ambivalence might find its bliss again…but if it never does, the least I can do is thank you for listening, even when you hated what you heard.
Countless commercials are talking about our ‘unprecedented times,’ so what does this moment mean for storytelling in business?
To find out, I turned to Tamon George, Co-Founder & CEO of Creative Theory Agency, and my latest guest on ‘Oh…We’re Going There’ podcast.
Tamon is a creative theorist based in Washington DC whose award-winning, culture-focused marketing agency is amplifying voices, and telling necessary stories that overturn common narratives.
Here’s my conversation with Tamon, and links to connect with him:
Creative Theory Agency